I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
