Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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