She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
