I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
