This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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