I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
even my farts smell like vagina
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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