So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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