Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
