please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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