I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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