More tranny stories later!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
