Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
