You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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