I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
