Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We need to rekindle our bromance
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
