Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
