my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
there is glitter all over my balls
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