did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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