It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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