I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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