I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
