so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
