4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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