the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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