Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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