This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
