shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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