adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
