So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Your penis caused this!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
