My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
