The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
