I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
