I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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