i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
