im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
