She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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