marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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