don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
