her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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