It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
