More tranny stories later!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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