In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
