Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my sisters under your porch take her home
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
