What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
