HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
