I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
