im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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