peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
