I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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