I'm going to jail i love you
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
