At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
