you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
